Traditions

We have a tradition in this family when Thanksgiving rolls around.

It was actually a tradition started by my Grandmother. Every year, when we would gather to fill ourselves with the yumminess of Thanksgiving, she would give each of her Grandchildren a Christmas ornament.

I received my last Christmas ornament from her when I was a senior in High School. She passed away a few short months prior to me graduating.

In the Summer of 2000, I said I Do and four months later, I continued my Grandmother's tradition with my new husband. We have given each other an ornament every Thanksgiving since.

Thanksgiving 2009, we were blessed to add one more life to our tradition. 

This past Spring when we discovered we would be adding to our family by two, I thought of Thanksgiving and smiled. I smiled for we were blessed to add two more precious lives to our Thanksgiving Tradition.

Life now, looks drastically different then it did in the Spring. There is not going to be two Baby's First Christmas Ornaments to our tree this year. There will be ornaments just not the ones that commemorate that occasion. 

I wanted to do it. They have a place in my heart. I want them to have a place on our Christmas tree as well. It is only right. It is only natural for Emmerson and Vivienne to be a part of this tradition. They are a part of our family. For always.

I wanted to do it but the thought of buying their ornaments took the breath from me and crushed my chest. I told my husband that he would have to do it. Alone. I just couldn't.

I did it. I went with him and bought Emmerson and Vivienne their very first Christmas ornaments.

I did it but it was hard. So much harder than I ever imagined but I did it. I am so thankful that I did.

The very first ornament I saw was a Baby's First Christmas ornament. The chest crushed. The breath I needed to breathe escaped me. I gently touched it and whispered, "This is the one we should be buying".

A sales lady asked if we needed any assistance and I started sobbing. Grief paralyzed and tears flooded.   The questions came along with the anger and the overwhelming sadness of all that I miss and continue to miss. 

It was very hard but I am so thankful I did it. 

This year, when we commence celebrating Christmas in this house by putting up the tree, my daughters will have a place on the tree as well.

It is only right. It is only natural. They belong in our traditions and our celebrations.

They are a part my heart for always.

This is part of a series by Franchesca

Stephanie