Sometimes . . .

Sometimes I miss what was . . . and what could have been.

Sometimes I cry a little more . . . a little harder.

Sometimes I smile and wonder how joy tugged the corners of my lips up.

Sometimes I laugh and the sound takes me by surprise. Always by surprise.

Sometimes I get lost in a moment and I forget that life has become so hard.

Sometimes I forget about the pain . . . if only for a moment.

Sometimes I wonder why . . . about so many things.

Sometimes all that wondering leaves me more hurt and confused.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever enjoy the ocean breeze instead of feeling the constant pounding of ocean waves.

Sometimes I wish for time to pass me by so I will no longer have to live with this pain . . . without them.

Sometimes the gratefulness comes easy . . . other times it comes hard.

Sometimes I feel God near.

Sometimes I feel as He if He has left me.

Sometimes I wonder if bravery will ever strengthen me enough to visit the scarred earth . . . the place that says death really occurred.

Sometimes I have dreams and others nightmares consume.

Sometimes I feel at peace and other times I feel like a war is raging about.

Most times I struggle for the laughter, the tears, the joy, the heartache, the questions and the answers to step into sync and let the tug of war end and the dancing begin.

Stephanie