Another Friday. Another five minutes with Gypsy Mama.
I can honestly say I have never felt more empty in my life before eight months ago.
It was a terrible feeling I didn't know what to do with. It was foreign. I didn't recognize my own voice, my own reflection and I sure couldn't recall any of my desires and dreams. What were those anyway?
I was empty.
I have had people tell me recently that those first months after Emmerson and Vivienne went to be with their King, that I looked like a zombie. That there was nothing . . . no light . . . no life in my eyes.
I was empty.
I have been reflecting a lot. On how I view life now and how I viewed it then. I reflect on God and how I boxed Him in, defined Him by my own definitions. And now, I am just trying to keep those fists unclenched and keeping my gaze fixed to the heavens and letting God do His thing.
I have wrestled with many trials (some not so heart wrenching) in my life and since I have been reflecting, I have wondered a lot if that was God trying to teach me, to show me that He is always enough.
I have felt so empty.
I am reflecting. I am wondering. Am I empty so that God can fill me back up with all that is truly good?
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.