Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
There is definitely a storm raging on within me right now. I haven't had much energy to get out of bed, let alone, dance. If I am dancing, its because the hurricane winds are blowing me around relentlessly.
But to dance purposefully right now? I don't think I could do that. Why would I choose to dance?
My heart aches.
The wind blows with force.
My arms sit empty.
The rain pounds hard.
Life hurts. Treasures become tarnished. Dreams die. People break.
It is so easy (it actually comes naturally) to sit alone with sorrow. To think of the things broken, everything that has gone wrong, dreams that died.
The questions are hard and fast.
The rain keeps pounding down.
Pounding me down.
But can't storms be beautiful at times? Such ugliness can hold such beauty if you look hard enough.
The way clouds can form never before seen shapes.
The way the rain will arrive at a slant.
The way the shadows dance together.
The way that glimmer of light ALWAYS finds a crack to crawl through and shine.
That light is reason to dance.
I have to look hard to see those glimmers of light. Glimmers of hope. But they are there.
When my daughter unexpectedly says, "I wuv you, Mommy."
When she smiles at me for no reason at all.
When my husband reaches for my hand.
When I get a good nights sleep.
My glimmers are so small yet so big.
Small gestures, glimmers, that put a smile on my face, that give me enough energy to perform a small step of a complicated dance.