Sometimes I cry a little more . . . a little harder.
Sometimes I smile and wonder how joy tugged the corners of my lips up.
Sometimes I laugh and the sound takes me by surprise. Always by surprise.
Sometimes I get lost in a moment and I forget that life has become so hard.
Sometimes I forget about the pain . . . if only for a moment.
Sometimes I wonder why . . . about so many things.
Sometimes all that wondering leaves me more hurt and confused.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever enjoy the ocean breeze instead of feeling the constant pounding of ocean waves.
Sometimes I wish for time to pass me by so I will no longer have to live with this pain . . . without them.
Sometimes the gratefulness comes easy . . . other times it comes hard.
Sometimes I feel God near.
Sometimes I feel as He if He has left me.
Sometimes I wonder if bravery will ever strengthen me enough to visit the scarred earth . . . the place that says death really occurred.
Sometimes I have dreams and others nightmares consume.
Sometimes I feel at peace and other times I feel like a war is raging about.
Most times I struggle for the laughter, the tears, the joy, the heartache, the questions and the answers to step into sync and let the tug of war end and the dancing begin.