Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Consider it Gift

I read these words about two months ago in a book I cannot remember. **

Do you love the gift more than The Giver?

Those are words, food for thought. Words that caused me to stop. To think.

I did not like the question at first because when I really examined self, I did not like the answer.

Yes. Yes I love my girls! More than breath, more than life itself. More than The One who blessed me with them?

Ouch! My answer stings. My response hurts.

Do you love the gift more than The Giver?

After days and weeks spent thinking, mediating, examining . . . No.

It was not an easy No for me. But the hard does not cause me to change my response.

Emmerson and Vivienne are a gift. They are His gifts to me. They are gifts and there was never a guarantee on how long I would physically hold them. The time spent does not take away the fact that they were His gifts to me.

It is up to me now, how I treat, how I react to His gift . . . my girls . . . my God. I will honor Emmerson and Vivienne. I will carry them in my heart until the last bit of air is pushed from the lungs.

Even now, I would not return this ache, this sorrow.

I hear of new mommies who want a full nights sleep, of their hope for the laundry load to be less. I now realize, through loss, how I desire for sleep to be interrupted with the cries of hunger and for my laundry to be dotted with tiny onesies. 

If before, I could have overlooked those things, those moments and chores as blessings, as gifts, then what more am I not seeing? What else does my eye need to fall on and consider it gift? Blessings?

Could my sorrow, my ache, be gift?

This question has caused me to take pause and examine my life.

There is no doubt that my life has been extremely blessed. 

Emmerson and Vivienne were and still are blessings in my life. They have caused me to open my eyes, my heart and to see everything that rains down as good. Blessings rain down. They rain down abundantly.

Blessings that cause me to hit knee and bow low. 

He rains blessings down. How often do we return those blessings with thanks?

How often do we entrust the beauty of what was given to the majesty of The Giver?

...My soul glorifies the Lord...For The Mighty One has done great things for me.
Luke 1:46:49


*I have received a lot of literature and have read a lot of books over the past few months. I have searched everything I have read and cannot find the source for the above question. I love to give credit where credit is due. If you know the one who asked the above question, please leave the name in the comment section that follows this post. The question is not from me.*

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