Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Promise Made

I see a husband and wife fresh and new on this journey of life together. I smile and wish them well. I smile and say a prayer that sorrow will not step into that life. I hope and pray that their worst day, their day of ugly is the day they said I Do. I hope nothing but beauty and good lies before them.

I see a newly married couple and I think of the day I glowed with love for My Love. I smile and think, what a wonderful day that was! I really believed that our life would appear as I had always dreamed: Love, Home, Laughter over dinner, Arms wrapped around in comfort, Cries and Coos of babies, Pitter-Patter of little feet, Those same little feet knowing of the love of child, Silver hair rocking on the front porch staring in awe at the sunset.

I had always wanted to be a wife, to be a mother. I wanted the simple but the grand. I wanted a simple life with My Love that held my dreams. I wanted the simple life but the grandest of loves.

My life has held those things, those desires and dreams but also has held hurt and sorrow and nightmares.

When I Do is sung on the lips of two promising forever, the breath that gives voice sound is the dream of good.

The promise of forever is framed with a smile and is swollen with love. The promise is made with the dreams and hopes of beauty and laughter.

But this is life. The weeping is as much apart of life as is the dancing.

When the music fades and the dance ceases, what is left?

Isn't that what the promise if for?

The promise of forever is to hold it all. It is there to wrap one up in love, in the certainity that you are not alone when the lights dim, the sparkles are gone and the music is dead. It is there to double the laughter, brighten the smiles, and to hold the hand, the eyes in a sweet dance.

A few days after goodbye was spoken through tears, I laid curled up in My Loves arms and together we cried. I was overwhelmed with my love for him. I was overwhelmed with sorrow and regret. I regretted that he had to feel this hurt. That My Love was now a man that lost two pieces of his heart.

I looked up at him through a sea of tears and told him how sorry I was for his pain. That I hated seeing him hurt like he was and still is. I whispered to him through choked breath how thankful I was that I had him to walk this road with me. How blessed I am that he is still here to hold my hand.

I understand the beauty of the promise now. After eleven years, I understand. The promise is not for life to always glow in beauty, but to be that sliver of light, of forever, when life grows dark and ugly.

The promise is to grow in beauty, together, through it all.

That is what the promise is for.

And that is what The Promise is for...

Through it all, the weeping, the dancing, the laughter, the tears, He will hold us.


1 comment:

  1. This post is so touching. I am a new Follower of your Blog from Jamaica. I note that you lost twins. I lost my identical twin sister in 2008 and writing has been therapeutic for me. I have been a Freelance Writer for many years but I only started my Blog 'JUDY H-J'S THOUGHTS - A TWINLESS TWIN' in March of this year. I know that writing must also be therapeutic for you. Take care.



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