It is five minutes of uninhibited writing about a chosen topic from the Mama mentioned above.
That's a bit of a leap for this planner but here I go . . .
I believe I have mentioned before how I am a bit of planner, a control freak and a Type A personality. I like to have a blueprint for my life. I like to know where I am headed and what to expect once I get there. How do I deal when things haven't gone as planned? Well . . . I'm still not sure.
I have had some unexpected moments in my life. Moments like falling in love, stopping to admire a sunset, feeling the sensation of salt water waves crash against the legs.
Those have been wonderful, magnificent, unexpected moments.
A little over four months ago, the Unexpected happened. The unexpected-this-is-not-supposed-to-happen-to-me-moment. The Unexpected happened in a big way, in a big moment. Every since then, the unexpected continues to happen in small ways, in small moments.
I'm just left wondering if the unexpected can still be appreciated as it once was.
My moments, all of my moments are unexpected now. I find that I startle myself. I no longer feel the obsessive need to plan (what's the point?). I don't feel like controlling anything (did I ever really have any control before?). I'm not much for a super clean house with everything in its place anymore (I hardly notice when there is a weeks worth of dishes piled in the sink).
My unexpected moments . . .
Becoming incredibly angry
Managing to climb out of bed
Singing along to a song
These are also unexpected moments . . .
Feeling God's peace
Feeling Him hold me